The Indian knot

Finally did a couple of very important things that were supposed to be done just two months back.Can you imagine that?!This procrastination business is getting worse daily.The unemployed status further compounds the problem instead of easing it out.There's nothing else to do but that which is staring at you for a god-awful two months and yet...It's one of the unexplained mysteries of my life...

Why do people in India make a big issue out of caste?Higher,Lower..It's so evident among the adults but decreasing in intensity among the younger generation.There was this Christian girl who fell in love with a low caste Hindu boy and then married someone else under family pressure.Her mother said"Anyone else it was ok, but a harijan?!"

The West looks at the Indian model of marriages in awe.. all these arranged marriages and stuff...even in the dotcom era its hardly different,people fall in love after checking out the surnames as in real life.Marriages here were never about love.It has everything to do with prestige,coming together of two familes,business ties,etc.Where else in the world will u list your degrees ,income ,visa status,ancestral property,bank balance,etc.Nobody asks themselves whether they want to get married at all.It has to be there right along with the board exams, an indisputable impending unavoidable part of life.The ultimate test of manliness is ofcourse fathering a child within the first year of marriage.

Whats the real purpose of this institution as old as whoring ? Convenience? Dependence? Financial stability? Emotional cover?I am yet to see a marriage having the same intensity right through the end.If we look to recreate the magic in romance and continue it into marriage with the same intensity ,I don't think its ever worked with anyone.And boy, dowry is big business in India.One of my friends got a crore, that is one followed by six zeros!! just like that! Coz he had the prefix Dr attached to his name.

Meenuji ,flattered you included me in the list of writers...I consider myself more a pretender than a real has a lot to do with inspiration ,I have to be inspired and pumped up to write(which hasn't happend for well over two years ;-) )...a true writer ,i read somewhere, doesn't sit around waiting for inspiration. He just writes.

Anita Desai & erotica

Anita Desai has intrigued me ever since I read Village by the Sea , a delightfully charming little novel.You can really see that village come alive before your eyes .It demands to be read again.Despite critical acclaim ,I couldn't appreciate much what the big deal was about Fasting, Feasting.The book I'm reading now,falls into a style she seems to be enjoying doing of late. Diamond Dust is a collection of short stories and almost all of them without exception dissapoint.As usual , she's a master at description but the stories are just sitting around waiting for a solid plot or conclusion.Apart from the stories Winterscape,The Artisit's Life and The Rooftop Dwellers ,the rest are just mediocre.Almost as if that the descriptive style is almost an obsession with her .It leaves with you the vague uncomfortableness of having had half a measure of a good dinner.Winterscape,though, is almost perfect.

There's this site where they send a novel to ur mail box daily ,piece by piece so as to speak ,and which can roughly be read in five minutes or so.I picked up Shakespeare's sonnets and Lady Chatterley's Lover .I had read the latter years before mainly to check out what the fuss had all been about.This time, reading it properly for the first time, I realized I had missed out on a lot earlier.Sample this:

it's no good! It's no good trying to get rid of your
own aloneness. You've got to stick to it all your life.
Only at times, at times, the gap will be filled in. At
times! But you have to wait for the times. Accept
your own aloneness and stick to it, all your life. And
then accept the times when the gap is filled in, when
they come. But they've got to come. You can't force

I have noticed it with certain writers that hidden in erotica is usually profound philosophy and because its clothed in erotica it doesn't seem that hard to digest ;-) A good example is Marco Vassi.But he's in a different league altogether...sublimally powerful stuff ..Especially Mind Blower and Countours of Darkness...err I haven't read any other titles,very hard to come by here ,I feel.
S and me were just idling around when I suggested we go for Red Dragon.So off we went to The New Theatre ,the oldest and largest of its kind in Trivandrum.The man at the drinks counter seemed really reluctant to sell us stuff, guess he's grossly underpaid and is taking it out on his employers.During my pre degree days in The Government Arts College ,this theatre screened only soft core pornography.Now they seem to be out of their bad times .There was the usual crowd for a good English movie on the fifth day...around 20 (well its usually one fifith that number but since this movie had an A certificate ...

I had read the book earlier and the movie is a close adaptation.Very slick and fast paced .The novel, I've felt was better than Silence of the Lambs.For the uninitiated, Red Dragon is the first part of the trilogy which consists of Silence of the Lambs(SOL) and Hannibal in that order.But SOL was filmed first ,then Hannibal and finally Red Dragon.Soon found out the reason for the A certificate.Ralph Fiennes runs around in the state he was born in for close to five minutes..So if u like to watch male butts and privates , don't miss this !

Watching the movie I was awed by the professionalism of Hollywood.You couldn't say of a single actor that he/she acted badly.They were all superb.Contrast this with the hamming we have to suffer from SRK and co...Sheesh..come on how many ACTORS are there in India except for an Amir Khan or Amitabh? Not many I'm afraid...Oh , New theatre now features R.B.E(Real Body Experience).When the heroine screams ,the audience screams with her.At least S did.I asked him Why.He pointed to a peruchazhy(huge rat) scrambling away..seems the rat fancied a bite of pop corn from Shetty..It made a few more appearances all impeccably timed to the horrors on the screen!! That's genetic engineering technology for you !
As I was checking back into the hotel after the interview, I had a vision.This happened as I was waiting for the lift.I didn't even see her walk from anywhere.She was blond,blue eyes(with specs) , thrityish and a body to hug for...She smiled and I smiled back weakly .In the lift when she said "fourth floor" my heart went" DOOM DHUM DOOOM DHHHHUM"..Yeah loud and clear...What luck,She was staying on the same floor opposite my room and she was travelling alone in India.We chatted endlessly outside my room ,then I invited her in.She was the same profession as mine and we took our very professional discussions to its passionate logical the bed..

I made a terrible mistake .This happened more than a month back when I first started blogging.In the heat or passion of the moment, I idiotically promised to uphold the truth on this site.Guess that has just gone for a huge and mighty six :)
Back by popular request ;)

It all started quite innocently enough when I laughed like a maniac on February 17th 11:00pm..Nothing strange there, for I was immersed in the final chapters of Mostly Harmless ..Douglas Adams does that to me,pity my neighbours. However,what happened next was very strange..As if on cue, the power went off .To cut a long story short, the repairmen came the very next day and repaired whatever it was to be prepared,or so I thought.The power was back ,only problem was that things looked a bit westernised.yeah ,they gave us fridge,no TV,no computer..back to prehistoric times.

Immediately I started showing withdrawal symptoms from all three.Hanging around the computer room, constanly checking on the "ice status" in the fridge,being very restless and fidgety....Finally day before yesterday, I had enough with the dim lit bulbs and the smelly fridge and went off for an interview in Cochin.I had two objectives...first to preserve my sanity and next if I felt really horribly good ,maybe go for the interview.Now from here on its a tale of orgasms.Those with a weak heart and easily excitablre mind please don't proceed.No please don't misunderstand me....Im not a man of many orgasms...but the conditions were so good that....

i shelled out a fortune for an AC double room in a star hotel in Cochin(don't jump to conclusions there were no single rooms available) ...Orgasm no1: while sinking down into the bed and exhaling and inhaling the cool air...
no.2 Soaking myself in the bathtub for about uhm 2 hours??Now that's multi orgasmic and probably the only thing more pleasurable than having a woman in bed with you.Thing is you can't cry for pleasure (yeah ,really brawl) when ur with a woman but in the tub you are the boss.

Did I tell u people that I am cable starved?yeah no cable tv at saw Philadelphia again and got senti again.That one day in the hotel rejuvenated my mind and body...More on my other orgasmic details later :)

P.S: This post is dedicated to the millions of my fans( mostly female ;) ) who spent agonising days worrying about my and kisses to you all :)
"In all the din of the manufactured excitement and fabricated expectations, amid all the yagnas and poojas for the team's victory, we seem to have ignored one very important aspect. Which is that two teams play cricket. Usually only one team wins, and usually it is the better one. Yesterday we were not.

But the corporates, with no greater aim than to sell more motorcycles, more mobile phones, more tyres, more televisions, more 'chyawanprash', and more cola have hammered a very subversive idea into our gullible skulls.

That only India is there to win, and that the other 13 teams are there only to help them do that.

When that doesn't happen, as it didn't on Saturday and as it doubtless won't again in the future, the neo-literates of cricket, who don't know which side of a bat to hold, act as if the end of the world is nigh.

Relax, guys. This is cricket. And this is the essence of sport. If you haven't caught it, you should be watching WWF.We are a nation of coasters, the type who cruise along. We show so little bravery when a girl is getting raped in our train compartment. We take so few risks that people spend their entire careers at one table in the same office. We show very little nerve when our neighbour of many decades is being burnt and killed. We show very little spine to stand up to corruption, skullduggery and injustice and all those things for which we have justly become so notorious. That doesn't bother us.

Out on the green, though, we want our cricketers to show the bravery, spine and nerve we lack, to take the risks we ourselves wouldn't in our dreams.

If you think that is bad, what is worse is our expectations of victory at all costs and at all times. We don't expect our Prime Minister and his team to deliver 8 per cent growth each year without fail. We don't expect our bureaucrats and police to end ineptitude, inefficiency and corruption at close of working hours this year. We don't expect our courts to clear their backlogs next year. We don't expect our BJP-led government to provide food, clothing, medicine and housing to all by the time its tenure ends.

Somehow, we are willing to pardon them that. But, somehow, we aren't that accommodating about our cricket team. Why?"

Excerpts from an article in Rediff

Joke of the week:Hindi commentary for the world cup on DD National live from the Delhi studios!! Non stop riot with all the mishaps u can think of when commenting a game on the screen.

Dazzling Damsel of the week: Navya Nair..Her TV interview yesterday was a blast...unpretentious easy going girl with lots of humor and an irresistble laugh...Totally at ease with everything around her... Verly Adorable ...hmm..this suspiciously sounds like an ad for a matrimonial column.

Despair of the week: Living it out in Trivandrum.

Quote of the week:"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's.She changes it more often." Oliver Herford
You'll never guess who was the first to visit this site on Valentine's day.."The Pentagon, Washington, D.C., United States" .How romantic,huh?I have several theories on this,but one thing is for sure..Valentine's day couldn't have started on a better note..I don't mean to be disrespectful to anybody but mainly, people come upon this blog either through other blogs,links,web rings etc and then ...AHEM...via search engines...msn ,mamma,kaaza..The search engines are many but the search query is always one:mallu girls.I don't know how this tragedy of epic proportions has come about but I feel sorry for these dudes for ending up on my site when they are clearly out for a night of pleasure and perversion.Even if you add movies,sexy and any other provoking search words still my site figures in there.Now what I am asking is...Why did the pentagon come to my site and if so in what way,eh? ;-)

There are some advantages to being in Trivandrum after all.I challenge any of you reading this to suggest a more unromantic,conservative place.So probably only here you'll find cards like "Happy valentines day Mummy" and all that crap..People are so desperate that its ok even if it's their moms..So no excitement about Valentines day palpable at all..

Seriously ,but ,there's a become one of "them"... I have been here for six months and I am half a Trivandrumite...the pessimism,the indifference,the don't even realise it.Maybe it's worse in metros like Bombay ,Delhi but I can't stand it...But the best part is you never realise all this unless you leave this place for sometime as it happened with me.As i famously like to say,it has all the bad points of a metro but none of the goodies to offer.It doesnt get duller in the world than good ol Trivandrum folks...Sigh
This post is for G who cracked me up with her "What is this?" comment on my "10th grade"post.She must have thought it was my diary entries or something more weirder but I guess the reference to prom and stuff makes that pretty unlikely,huh?It all started when I chanced upon g's hubby's blog and zonked him.Suddenly I was completly disoriented and I conked out soon after I shut down the computer.No it wasn't reading G's hubby's blog that brought this dizziness spell on as I had thought earlier.Just fever,sore throat,raking coughs and a whole lot of unmentionable disgusting symptoms.So im taking it easy here,but couldnt bear to see my blog without an entry.Is this an obsession or what? I just copied and pasted two articles(jokes?) I found on the net for the two days I was feeeling really couldnt bother with a lot of typing and explaining....feel slightly better today...Whoa, spoke too soon...feeling dizzy again,so before I swoon and crash myself on the keyboard,I'll take leave...cant really say when Ill be back :)...Take care people..
I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over
a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents
helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and
my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much
indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a
career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and
sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel

One day she called me and asked me to come over to
check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was
alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that
soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and
desires for me that she couldn't overcome. So before I
got married and commited my life to her daughter, she
wanted to make love to me just once ...

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't
say a word.

So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are
up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her
delicious behind as she went up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and
went to the front door... I opened it, and stepped out
of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and
with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are
very happy and pleased, you have passed our little
test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our

Welcome to the family.

Lesson learnt:- Always keep your condoms in your
10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She
was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She
looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.


Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! "

I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

I am not particularly inclined to reading crime novels but there is one notable excetion...Mario Puzo's The Godfather .I have lost count of the number of times I've read it,and seen the triology on screen. Mario Puzo breathed his last while working on the screenplay of the fourth film.But Random House, the publishers of the novel intend to continue the leagcy after the author's death.The second part of the epic saga of the Corleone family is being written by Mark Winegardner and is due in 2004.
Whoa!! I have been accepted into The Indian Bloggers ring .....took two weeks(or more?!).They really took their time and especially the way my blog was going(esthetically and material wise), it must have been real close.. ;)

Went to the only business ***** hotel in Trivandrum yesterday...The Muthoot Plaza .Have been there lots of times but this time went to see a friend of a friend.Hmm, complicated ,I know.He has a top job there and we had a good time.Nice ambience and very posh.The bar was flooded with foreigners.Airplane crew from 3 airlines ,everybody having a good time.Lots of business magnates around too and some people not recognisable but nevertheless appearing or pretending to be important.

There has always been a feline presence in my life...reminds me of "Rain God" in Douglas Adam's So long and Thanks for all the fish which I am reading I am really not a cat lover.But i respect them .They have a majesty reminding me of their wild cousins ,the tigers.There are three tiny kittens in the house now..One is grey with large white patches in between.Another is yellow and white.The third one is black with small whitish patches showing here and there.They are usually interwined like a ball of thread and their movements are slow and unsure .They always stick to each other, for warmth I presueme , so its more or like one animal with three heads and tails !!Its heartbreaking when they look at you.They just opened their eyes and the world stops when they stare at you.As the girls in my class used to say "chochweet".....

When the mother cat arrives they will be usually sound asleep.Once she starts licking them , they instinctively know it's her and start making these high pitched "keey keey" noises with their little tails sticking straight up and run and scramble around .The excitement and confusion is beautiful to watch.The mother is pretty sensitive and very alert.You sit quietly for a long time watching her feed the kids and she watches you right back.It takes some time before she trusts you enough to go to sleep while feeding her kittens.Once some kids(guests) made a big fuss over the kittens when the mother was around.She moved the kittens from that place the very next day.Anyway I don't touch or hold the kittens,an intrusion into their world I feel.It's sad though that most of the kittens never survive.Either the dog or the tomcat gets them.The tomcat kills off it's own kittens to bring the female into heat i'm told ,though i dont know if this is true.

There are three things I can't resist... nature, women and books.So blew away an appreciable amount on a Book exhibition in the VJT Hall...impressive by Trivandrum standards.Saw the snap of a very young Madhavikutty on the cover of Ente Kadha (My story)...What a pretty woman..
Thanks G, for letting me know about backBlog, though I doubt it will be much use here.Despite the ridiculous ease of registering and usage, I still managed to screw up.It took me 3 hours *wipes sweat off brow* to get the comments section going !! It's got to be a world record.Not really my fault.I am a certified "technically challenged" person.Well the root of all the trouble was ' ...Yeah that tiny straight line up there between the "l" and the "s" in "The mallu devil's musings"..sheesh so i had to change my blogname...Anyway as somebody kindly pointed out, i don't muse much on this blog of now.

I have got a bad habit of going on and on about things I relish.Check out my review on Nandanam.But Ill keep it short and sweet this time coz there's no use me telling you about it.You've got to go and see for yourself.I don't know if everybody else feel this way but the women bloggers write far better than us men folks methinks.This lady in particular, writes like a dream and with brutal honesty too.It just blows you away.You know you are on to something special when you read the title of her blog "Married to a long haired freak".She's definitely my temptation of the month...hmmm ...that sounds too carnalistic, so Ill change it to lure...*evil grin*...I like to think I discovered her , a sort of godfather , so I've decided to promote her to the read her people ,you'll love her !!
Looks like it's tough time for NASA first their space shuttle crashes and now their website is defaced.This looks like an anti war message, with plenty of bad grammar, from Trippin smurfs , a hacker group.Check it out !!
Read a disturbing article on the Columbia disaster in The Hindu,don't really know how much of it is true,but even if it's 50% fact ,it's shocking.I thought this type of stuff only happened in India and the third world.The gist of the article is that manned flights to space and the experiments they conduct are unnecessary and only serve a political purpose.Have a dekho at it...
Saw "Nammal" a couple of days back... a better than average campus flick with stellar performances from Suhasini and Balachandra Menon.A bit over on the melodrama I thought but bearable nevertheless.The newcomers, Sidharth Bharatan (son of late Bharatan and KPAC Lalitha) and Jishnu (son of actor Raghavan) and Renuka Menon are good.Renuka was the best ,I thought ,though she had nothing much to do. Suhasini puts in an effortless performance and by God , she's still one of the most beautiful women in the industry.The chap who came as Noolunda was hilarious.Bhavana was great as Parimalam.

Fell in love with the song "sukhamanee nilaavu"...the choreography and cinematography rocked too..."Ente Ammaya onnukaanan" has Kaithapram at his best.."Rakhashasi " is good to hear too...

Scenes to check out for:Shivan reading Sathyanathan's (Balachandra Menon) letter...Sathyan confronting Shyam about the letter...For a better more comprehensive review click here

On more filmi news,Nandanam has swept the Films Critics awards, a prelude to the State Awards winning seven including best pic, director and actress :)